Words and Attitudes

There was an article a while back that listed ten things extraordinary people say every day. No I’m not sure if they followed a lot of extraordinary people around and took down what they said. I don’t even know who those extraordinary people were. Did they contact you? Well, whatever their methodology, there are some good thoughts in the article.
The writer is Jeff Hayden of Inc.

Without listing all of Jeff’s point, let me revisit a few of them.

“Here’s what I’m thinking.”
You’re in charge, but that doesn’t mean you’re smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else. Back up your statements and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with logic, not with position or authority. Though taking the time to explain your decisions opens those decisions up to discussion or criticism, it also opens up your decisions to improvement.

“I was wrong.”
When you’re wrong, say you’re wrong. You won’t lose respect–you’ll gain it.

“Can you help me?”
When you need help, regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say sincerely and humbly, “Can you help me?” I promise you’ll get help. And in the process, you’ll show vulnerability, respect, and a willingness to listen–which, by the way, are all qualities of a great leader.

“I’m sorry.”
We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support… say you’re sorry.

But never follow an apology with a disclaimer like “But I was really mad, because…” or “But I did think you were…” or any statement that in any way places even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person. Say you’re sorry, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame. No less. No more.

Nothing.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you’re upset, frustrated, or angry, stay quiet. You may think venting will make you feel better, but it never does. Before you speak, spend more time considering how employees will think and feel than you do evaluating whether the decision makes objective sense. Be quiet until you know exactly what to say–and exactly what effect your words will have.

Victorian novelist George Eliot wrote, “Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.”

King Solomon also spoke of this.

[blockquote author=”Proverbs 17:27 NLT” link=”” target=”_blank”]A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.[/blockquote]

What will an extraordinary person like you be caught saying… or not saying… as you lead those around you?