Who needs kindness?
In this frantic and pressure-filled world, what role could simple kindness play? A big one! Relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott talk a lot about kindness as they help people understand how to build strong and lasting relationships.
Never underestimate the impact of one kind word.
One of the Bible verses I was taught early in life was from Paul’s letter of instructions to his Christian friends in Ephesus.
And be ye kind one to another…
I’m sure my mother quoted that to me and my siblings when we were being anything but kind. It had a lasting impression on me. Today, reading the whole verse helps explain why we should show kindness to others.
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32 KJV
My experience over the years has convinced me of the overwhelming value of this verse and the practice of a kind word aptly spoken. I have learned that it costs nothing on my part to show such kindness to others.
The Parrotts have also said consistency is valuable in building strong relationships.
“The solid commitment between faithful friends is established by thousands of seemingly insignificant commitments over the long haul.”
Paul pointed out to the Colossians that kindness was among the traits that would mark them as God’s special people.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Colossians 3:12 NLT
By the way, being kind is not the way of our world today. In the corporate world, in school, and even in families, most people don’t rank “kindness” as something to be desired in their lives. Some think it almost equates to “weakness.” Not so.
It begins with a heart that recognizes the gracious kindness the Lord has shown us, and it spills over to those around us. Someone has said, “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.”
The eighteenth century American Quaker missionary Stephen Grellet urged us not to miss an opportunity to show kindness to others.
“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
Someone around you may need a kind word right now. Don’t miss the opportunity to do something powerful and godly in their life.
God’s best,
Do something!
A leadership coach posed some questions in a recent blog. And, as intended, it got me thinking. Let me share one of the questions and see what you think.
As leaders, we are constantly confronted with challenges—often on a daily, if not hourly, basis. In these moments, we are faced with a crucial choice: to act or to remain passive. The fear of making a wrong decision can often lead us to the latter, forgetting that inaction is a decision in itself.
Dan Rockwell considers himself a leadership freak. His questions can help all of us who face decisions, big and small.
The question that hit me was this:
What happens if we press forward without changing anything?
It is often said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. Continuing to have a problem in your organization and just ignoring it, hoping it will go away, is not productive and does not advance the ministry or organization.
We can be frozen by fear. Fear of offending. Fear of failing. Fear of what others might think of us and our organization. Fear like that is rarely the path to good results or effective problem solving.
Some of Jesus’ disciples were watching as their Lord ascended into heaven. I wonder what was going through their minds. “Now, what do we do? Who will lead us? How can we be successful when our leader has gone?” They seemed frozen in place, not doing anything. Here is Eugene Peterson’s version of that account:
As they watched, he [Jesus]was taken up and disappeared in a cloud. They stood there, staring into the empty sky. Suddenly two men appeared—in white robes! They said, “You Galileans!—why do you just stand here looking up at an empty sky? This very Jesus who was taken up from among you to heaven will come as certainly—and mysteriously—as he left.”
Acts 1:11 MSG
The implication is that standing staring into the sky was not going to accomplish the assignment Jesus had given them. They needed to decide to press on and carry out His commands.
Leadership expert John Maxwell says, “When the leader lacks confidence, the followers lack commitment.” Standing and gazing upward or at the problem without seeking and implementing a solution is not good leadership.
Peter put it in spiritual terms, relating to our need to be on the alert. We have an adversary who delights in the inaction of those serving the Lord.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8 NLT
And Paul reminds us of the power of prayer as we deal with situations that can immobilize us.
Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.
Colossians 4:2 NLT
Facing challenges today? Look to Jesus. Seek His direction. Then act on it for His purpose and His glory.
Or, as we might say today…don’t just stand there. Do something!
God’s best,
So you want to be a leader?
When I was growing up, there was a simple TV show called “So You Want to Lead a Band?” People would volunteer to lead, step to the podium, take the director’s baton, and start directing the onstage band. It was usually funny and sometimes disastrous.
Have you wanted to be a leader? Have you wanted to command a group of people in a way that had an impact and accomplished something amazing? Or maybe the conductor’s baton was handed to you, and you weren’t prepared to be the leader. Most of us have been there at one level or another.
There is a somewhat humorous saying called “The Peter Principle.” One definition for this principle is this: “Employees are promoted according to their current progress rather than the required skills and aptitude.” Or, as the originator of the Peter Principle, Dr. Laurence J. Peter put it, “…people in a hierarchy tend to rise to “a level of respective incompetence”
That’s a bit scary, but it happens again. Leadership groups, including the Harvard Business Review, address this topic again and again.
Fred Smith, a mentor to ministry leaders, talked about leadership, which gives us a clear picture of what it is.
“Leadership is not a position; it is a function. It is not a title that grants power over others. It is a skill you perform, a service you render for the entire organization or institution.”
One of the reasons MEDIA Alliance holds leadership Forums around the globe is to help those who have stepped into the role of a leader be better equipped with the skills needed to guide the team God has given them.
Where do you find yourself? Has the Lord put you in a leadership position and you don’t feel adequate for the job? Join the crowd. Most of us have felt that way. It’s a good idea to read those first chapters of Joshua. This leader was following on the heels of Moses, who had led the children of Israel for forty years. I’m sure Joshua felt inadequate for the role. Maybe that’s why the Lord bluntly told Joshua:
“Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people…”
Joshua 1:2 NLT
The Lord then repeated over and over, “Be strong and of good courage.” God went on to tell Joshua that He had guided Moses and He would guide Joshua in what to do to be the leaders the Lord needed for that day.
The same truth holds for you. If the Lord has placed you in leadership, and you don’t feel you are prepared…that you have risen to your highest level of incompetence, then be strong and of good courage. And look to the Lord for the wisdom needed for the task.
So… grab that conductor’s baton and a copy of God’s Word, and lead!
God’s best,
Spinning my wheels...
When Judy and I got married almost 53 years ago, we honeymooned near the Texas Gulf Coast. And as we started for home, I wanted to do what my family had often done on trips to Galveston and the Bolivar Peninsula. We pulled off the highway to cross a path through some small sand dunes to get to the beach. We wanted to spend some time walking along the beach, hand in hand, listening to the sound of the surf and the gulls as they flew overhead. Sounds romantic, right?
It would have been except for one thing. The sand dunes. My car got bogged down in the soft, dry sand and I couldn’t go forward or backwards. I tried to dig out the sand from around the wheels with my hands, but nothing worked. I was stuck.
After a while, a man came along with a shovel, and we tried to dig some more. We were still stuck. When I pressed the accelerator, the wheels would spin, but I could not go forward or backward. It was frustrating—and very unromantic!
Eventually someone in a truck passed by who had a chain and he was able to pull and jerk my dad’s 1963 Chevrolet and get us on to solid ground. I was thankful for a rather good ending to this true story.
I must confess, there have been other times in my life when I felt frustrated and it seemed like I was spinning my wheels. No matter what I tried, the end results were not good. Maybe you have felt that frustration, too.
In the book of Haggai, the Lord addressed His people with an explanation of some of their “wheel spinning” situations. Listen.
Look at what’s happening to you! You have planted much but harvest little. You eat but are not satisfied. You drink but are still thirsty. You put on clothes but cannot keep warm. Your wages disappear as though you were putting them in pockets filled with holes! Haggai 1:5-6 NLT
It sounds liked God’s people were spinning their wheels. And the Lord explained through Haggai what was going on, why His people were having so much trouble. They had been putting themselves and their comfort and prosperity above the Lord. Earlier God quoted what the Israelites had been saying. “The time has not yet come to rebuild the house of the Lord.” (v.2) Yet, He said they were living in luxury and His house was in ruins.
I wonder how often we have neglected the important things of the Lord in order to be comfortable. I wonder how many times we have overlooked God’s will and God’s way so that we might fulfill our own ideas. Have I put myself and my plans above those of the Lord? Have I said, in effect, “Lord, I have a better idea. I’ll get around to You and Your way later.”
Listen to God’s Word:
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
Psalm 37:5 NLT
Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3 NLT
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
A bit later in Haggai we see God’s promise to His people when they decided to put Him first and they began work on the temple.
I am giving you a promise now while the seed is still in the barn. You have not yet harvested your grain, and your grapevines, fig trees, pomegranates, and olive trees have not yet produced their crops. But from this day onward I will bless you.
Haggai 2:19 NLT
Let’s stop spinning our wheels. Let’s be sure we are putting the Lord and His ways…His plans…first. And then let’s see what happens in our lives and our ministries as the Lord keeps His promises to us.
God’s best,
Who’s your hero?
Most of us have heroes. When we are young, we often zero in on sports stars or other prominent people. I’m old enough to have had Yankee baseball great Mickey Mantle as a hero. Not for his lifestyle but for his baseball ability.
Today, people choose heroes for different reasons: their fame, their skills on the court, gridiron, or pitch, maybe their wealth, or their business skills. Many times, our heroes are just good people. We admire their spirit, their joy in life, their confidence, and their love for the Lord.
Let me turn this around. Whose hero are you? Kind of a scary thought, isn’t it? That someone is watching us and wanting to be like us. As a leader chosen by the Lord to lead others, God has placed in your life the skills and attributes needed for that task. And others see that in you.
You may think that whatever they see is only a small thing. God can do much with a “small thing.” A. W. Tozer said:
“My flame may be small, but it is real.” When reading those words, leadership mentor Fred Smith noted, “A small flame can start a real fire better than a large neon sign.”
That flame in you can be powerful when you allow the Lord to use it to influence others.
The Apostle Paul was probably something of a hero to young Timothy. And Paul took his role as a mentor seriously. He told Timothy not to let his young age be a problem for himself or anyone else. People were looking to Timothy, and Paul told him:
Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 NLT
In other words, be all that God designed you to be, and that “small” flame will bring amazing results in the lives of others.
Leadership expert John Maxwell talked about the influence leaders can have. And one of his key points is that an influencer connects with people. But the leader should be the one taking the initiative. Maxwell writes:
“For some reason, people in authority assume those below them are responsible for initiating contact. Their mindset is that ‘I’m the leader; others should come to me.’ Nothing could be more counterproductive to gaining influence.”
If you feel your flame of influence is small, don’t despair. Let God’s Holy Spirit fan that flame while you remain faithful to Him in all you do. Step up and step out. The Lord can use a hero like you.
God’s best,
What in the world are we doing?
Another meeting. It seems like every time we turn around, another meeting is staring us in the face. And it doesn’t seem to matter if the meeting is virtual or in person. Those meetings often leave us wondering if we just wasted our time—and the time of everyone on the team.
My friend Bob Tiede in his “Leading with Questions” blog quoted Mark D. McIntyre, the head of an agency based in Washington, DC. McIntyre talks about those meetings we all have experienced that seem rather unproductive and offers some suggestions on how to get to the point. He suggests that each person in the meeting should be able to answer the question “What’s the objective of this meeting?”
That sounds good, but it isn’t always easy to discern what that all-important objective really is. McIntyre offers five words to help nail down the objective.
- What?
- So what?
- Now what?
Mark McIntyre suggests the leader of the meeting ask “Okay, so who are we and why are we here?” While this can sound humorous, it serves to 1) define each participant’s role and 2) state the objective for the discussion.
This sounds like good advice for more than just ministry or business meetings. What about couples, families, students, and churches making key decisions? Wouldn’t it be good to know where you are headed…the objective…before you set out on the journey?
The Lord gives us that kind of wisdom when He talked of “counting the cost” before starting a project. If you don’t have a clear understanding of the objective of a project or decision, it is hard to evaluate and harder still to reach a good sense of direction. Coming out of a meeting without a plan of action causes everyone to wonder about the time spent and the path forward.
As a leader, it is critical that your team has clear directions and a clear understanding of the objective before them. Jesus’ direction for His disciples gave them a clear understanding…a clear path…to the objective.
Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near.
Matthew 10:7 NLT
As I think about it, that is the call on all in Christian media, and in our personal lives as well.
Go.
Announce.
The Kingdom is near.
So… in light of that, what should we be doing today?
God’s best,
How do they stay so calm?
You’ve probably had ministry friends who, though facing a big challenge or crisis, remain calm. It’s almost as if they don’t grasp the reality of the situation or how serious it is. And we can even feel a bit envious of their peace.
I was reading something from Fred Smith, the master mentor to many ministry leaders, that got me thinking about this. He related an experience with Dr. Stephen Olford. This American evangelical leader trained many pastors in expository preaching. Billy Graham said of Olford that he was “the man who most influenced my ministry.”
Sitting with a group of prominent pastors, Dr. Olford said, “…when I die, if my family does not say, ‘There is something of God in the man, I will have failed.’”
What does that mean, to have “something of God” in us? Fred Smith listed several attributes that came to his mind as he pondered this:
- a quiet center that cannot be panicked
- evidence in the way we speak
- the quality and breadth of love
- [a positive] attitude toward death
All good points and all are worth striving for as we live out our leadership and our lives.
The first one caught my attention—a quiet center that cannot be panicked. Do you know people like that, who remain unruffled and strong in their faith while others around them are in turmoil?
Think of the disciples on the Sea of Galilee when the storms were raging, and the waves were crashing. They were in fear while Jesus was calmly asleep in the boat. Here’s the account from Luke 8:
The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and the raging waves. Suddenly the storm stopped and all was calm. Then he asked them, “Where is your faith?”
Luke 8:24-25 NLT
Such a graphic picture. The storms above were real. Yet Jesus did not panic. He had that “quiet center” based on the power of God within.
How can you stay calm while the storms of life rage? It doesn’t come by just overlooking the problem. Calmness comes from:
- placing confidence in an omniscient God.
- spending time with our heavenly Father to solidify that trust.
- an understanding that our Lord loves us and will either calm the storm or calm our hearts in the midst of the storm.
An old hymn has the formula for that kind of calmness:
While passing thru this world of sin,
And others your life shall view,
Be clean and pure without, within,
Let others see Jesus in you.
Let others see Jesus in you;
Keep telling the story, be faithful and true,
Let others see Jesus in you.
God’s best,
I hurried right past the words...
In my morning devotional reading I read right past some words. Two sentences later, I had to go back. I’m sure it was God’s Spirit hitting the brakes for me, shifting me in reverse. So I read the words again.
… God Himself lives within you…
I had to stop. And think. And sit in wonder at that truth. The great God who fashioned the universe, who put everything in place, who started our world spinning and has interacted throughout history… culminating in sending His Son Jesus to live, die, and be resurrected from the dead…that God lives within me!
Amazing. But understanding that truth led me to ask myself, “What difference does that make? What difference WILL it make today?”
As I communicate the hope of the Gospel to others, do I do that in my own wisdom, or in the wisdom of the One who lives within me? As I lead others in ministry, as I have opportunity to encourage and strengthen the work of others who are impacting the world with God’s Truth, do I do so with my good ideas or with God’s direction?
God’s word through Isaiah to His people clearly defined the Lord’s role in our lives:
I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is good for you
and leads you along the paths you should follow.
Isaiah 48:17 NLT
Do we believe that? Do we live that? Do we follow that? Paul seems to be in awe and wonder as he writes his thoughts on God’s amazing wisdom.
Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge!
How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!
For who can know the Lord’s thoughts?
Who knows enough to give him advice?
Romans 11:33-34 NLT
Peter Drucker was arguably the leading management thinker of the 20th century. Many believe his great insight was built upon his faith in God. Drucker is quoted as writing:
“The personal will of God is a ‘bond above them, with the common ruling power, which encompasses everyone everywhere.”
In other words, God’s wisdom should be the overarching truth that is the foundation upon which we build our leadership and our lives. And to think, this wisdom is dwelling within us at all times. God Himself lives within you!
What is the reward for recognizing that fact? Job said it well:
But he knows where I am going.
And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.
For I have stayed on God’s paths;
I have followed his ways and not turned aside.
I have not departed from his commands,
but have treasured his words more than daily food.
Job 23:10-12 NLT
Listen to God’s Voice. Treasure His Words. He is right there, living within you!
God’s best,
What matters to you?
It’s just a little yellow sticky note with a quote on it. It’s been sitting on my various computers for almost twenty years. I’ve moved it each time I upgraded my computer—so much so that the “sticky” part doesn’t work, so I tape it on the computer where I can see it again and again. What is the quote?
There is nothing more dangerous than a small character in a big assignment.
It’s from my spiritual mentor, the late Henry Blackaby. I keep it to remind me that God honors character in our lives. But it goes even further. It is often said that character and integrity boil down to doing the right thing when no one else is watching. Jesus reminds us that those actions won’t remain secret forever.
For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all. Luke 8:17 NLT
We are seeing that played out in news stories again and again, and it is damaging to the cause of Christ and for our culture.
The legendary basketball coach John Wooden drew a comparison between character and reputation. It’s a good reminder.
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
Episcopal clergyman Phillips Brooks, the author of the Christmas song “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” helped us understand how to build character—one brick at a time. He said, “Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.”
It is in those quiet, alone moments that we are tempted to do the things that will eat away at our character. Eve was alone with the serpent when she took that fatal bite. The Lord was not around when Adam followed suit. Those “alone times” are the very times we need to guard ourselves. Our character is at stake. And, as with Adam and Eve, the repercussions can be devastating.
Is there a simple definition for the character of a person? For the believer, it is this: Christ-likeness. Listen to this from Oswald Chambers:
“The expression of Christian character is not good doing, but God-likeness. If the Spirit of God has transformed you within, you will exhibit Divine characteristics in your life, not good human characteristics.”
My friend Mike Huckabee wrote a book many years ago when the topic of character was being bantered about in the political realm. The title says much — Character IS the Issue.
It should be the issue for us in Christian leadership. Make character…your character…matter.
God’s best,
Everyone has summer!
I’m told the Finnish people have a saying:
Some have happiness; everyone has summer.
Of course, in Finland, summer is bound to be better than winter, so the saying gives the Fins something positive to look forward to. It makes sense.
How are you doing? What is your outlook for today…tomorrow…next week? And how do you know if you are doing OK?
One of the easiest things for all of us to do is to compare ourselves to others. We may look at other ministries, other leaders, and other parents and determine that we’re not doing as well as others. Comparison. It can kill the spirit.
Someone has said, “We often judge ourselves by our intentions and judge others by their actions!” That can be a spirit-killer, too. I’ve often said that we compare our worst with someone else’s best. And we lose out when we do that.
Leadership expert John Maxwell warns those who lead not to look at the performance of others as their guide.
“Leaders must avoid comparisons. It’s a no-win activity. The only worthy comparison is between who you are and who God created you to be. God doesn’t condemn you when you fall short—he gives you the tools to become the person he wants you to be.”
I love that. God is more interested in seeing you lead successfully…obediently…than He is in putting you down when you don’t “measure up” to others.
I know…easier said than done.
When some of the Corinthian believers tried to tell Paul he didn’t measure up to others, he didn’t mince words in putting that idea down.
Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!
2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT
In Luke’s account of one of Jesus’ parables, we see that comparisons can bring bad results when we go the other way, thinking we are better than another. Jesus was not too kind in the story of the Pharisee who prayed:
I thank you, God, that I am not like other people—cheaters, sinners, adulterers. I’m certainly not like that tax collector!
Luke 18:11b NLT
Jesus proclaimed it was the humble tax collector who went home justified before God.
Comparisons are seldom, if ever, good. Know who you are in Christ, and remember, you are serving God, not man. Let Him enable you to do His will His way…and in His strength.
Don’t get downhearted. Your summer…your good days…may be right around the corner.
God’s best,