Talk is cheap!
There is probably a comparable saying in many countries to what we say in the U.S. ... “Talk is cheap!” That phrase can take on meaning at various levels. It may mean that it is easy to say something, hard to do it or live it. It could mean that “much speaking” is not necessarily a virtue. And while we are communicators, we need to choose our words carefully.
Valerie Geller travels the world teaching communication principles to broadcasters. Her book Beyond Powerful Radio has become a classic and has wisdom for all in the media field. In fact, the subtitle to that book is A Communicator’s Guide to the Internet Age. I have drawn wisdom from it for years for courses and seminars I teach. And Valerie has been part of our conferences and online seminars in the past.
In a section called Avoid Useless Chatter, Geller says, “Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should.” And she says this applies no matter what medium you are using—radio, television, or social media. Wow. Half or more of Facebook might disappear if people took this to heart. My posts included!
Valerie Geller also quotes air personality Turi Ryder who says, “Think of all the available content as crude oil. There may be a lot of it, but it’s no good to you unless it’s refined.” One of your roles as a communicator is to take raw material and refine it for the audience. Your role is not to just replicate what you hear or read. Many have been caught on the internet passing on “fake news” because it sounded good, only to (hopefully) retract it when the false story was discovered.
Our communications need focus. We need to know our topic and the point we are trying to make. We need to be aware of the “brand” we are building. People associate what they see, hear, and experience with a person, a station, a blog, or even a product. Most of us have been disappointed when we purchased a consumer item based on the brand to discover that the brand had produced a low cost, inferior product. Just because they could do that, should they have done it? Not if it costs them their reputation.
The Bible even addresses this topic. Solomon was pretty direct in his writings in the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes:
...too many words make you a fool.
Ecclesiastes 5:3 NLT
Sometimes we can improve our communication process by simply finding the “off-ramp.” We may make a solid point, then continue to ramble on with the result that the good point is lost in our many words. Use your words carefully and communicate truth in a clear and powerful way. That has the greatest impact for your audience.
God’s best...
I was shocked!
I was shocked!
My days as general manager of a Christian radio station in Dallas gave me some wonderful and unique opportunities. One occurred many years ago at a large gathering of station listeners at a mega church in the area. I had the privilege of introducing well-known pastor, speaker, and radio preacher Chuck Swindoll. His program Insight for Living had run on our station for many years, and we had become acquainted through that relationship and National Religious Broadcasters.
As part of the evening, I was to do a brief interview with Dr. Swindoll to give the audience some insight to the man behind the wonderful programs and messages. I remember us taking our place on a platform, and as I was about to ask my first question, Chuck interrupted me with a question of his own.
“Ron, how do you keep from becoming cynical?”
I was stunned. Shocked. I was supposed to be asking the questions, and rather easy ones at that. His question floored me. It came out of left field. I don’t remember exactly how I responded, but it must have been acceptable. The conversation flowed and the audience got a bit more than they expected.
I have thought of that moment often. Sometimes I just think about how Chuck Swindoll rendered me almost speechless. But I also think deeper...of the questions itself. It must have been something this great spiritual leader had dealt with personally in his ministry. Certainly, it is something that all in leadership, especially in spiritual leadership, deal with at some point in their ministry.
Maybe you have been there. The dictionary definition of the word “cynical” is “believing that people are motivated by self-interest and being distrustful of human sincerity or integrity.” Yep. I’ve been there. And, yes, even in the Christian media world. And when we see it, it is hard not to be cynical ourselves.
As we see great spiritual leaders tumble and fall, as we see ministries discredited due to self-serving leadership and a drift from the original vision, people understandably become cynical. John Maxwell addressed this in a leadership blog a couple of years ago:
“In a time of cynicism, leaders inspire people—one of the most challenging things for a leader to do is balance reality with vision.”
Ok...that addresses the corporate situation, but what happens when you become cynical? That’s probably what Chuck Swindoll was asking me about those years ago. We may call it by other names. Being spiritually dry or calloused.
Swindoll addressed the topic quite bluntly in a message:
“THIS IS A ROTTEN WORLD. And some people just can't be trusted. And con men (and women) and phonies and charlatans are out there, ready to rip us off.”
But Swindoll gives great advice...biblical advice.
“I've learned over the years...that cynicism can quickly set in, bringing only heartache and bitterness. God offers us a better way:
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.
Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Recognize that? It’s from Philippians 4:4-8. The key words for me in that passage are pray about everything. Everything! Is your prayer life lagging? Pray about it. Are you struggling in your leadership role due to other people and their selfish ways? Pray about it. Then strive once again for excellence to honor the Lord and to accomplish His calling in your life and ministry. Lead. Inspire. For the Lord’s sake and His purpose.
Cynicism has no place in the life of a leader.
God’s best...
I finally get it...
I’m in my late 70s and I’m still learning and figuring things out. Better late than never, as the saying goes.
As a kid, I remember asking my dad about a deep scratch on his arm, or a bruise, “Where did that come from?” Dad would simply reply, “I don’t know.” I couldn’t believe it! How could you scratch your arm or run into something and not remember the incident? That was beyond my comprehension as a young boy.
I’m beginning to understand. Getting dressed this morning I noticed a couple of scratches on one leg and a bruise on the other. I have no idea where they came from. And I flashed back to my time with Dad and understood that he was teaching me without lecturing me. What Dad was saying without specific words was, “It doesn’t matter. Not worth worrying about or spending time thinking about.”
I’m finding a lot of applications for that lesson beyond scratches or bruises. There are many things that happen in life that we sometimes spend way too much time thinking about...or obsessing over. We try to find the cause of this little thing or the reason for that little thing. Or we assign some sort of spiritual application to it as a way of explaining it. Flip Wilson was an American comedian famous for saying, “The Devil made me do it.” Pardon the pun, but that was his “flip” answer for why some things happened.
As a leader you encounter many things each day that could command your attention, at home or at your office or ministry. And many of those things won’t matter. Don’t waste valuable time on trivial things that can detract from the important things of your ministry, your work, your family, or your life.
The Apostle Paul often encourages us to focus on the important. After admitting to the Philippian Christ-followers that he didn’t fully comprehend everything, Paul said this:
...but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Philippians 3:13-14 NLT
My translation of that is, “Quit worrying about the little things or the past things. You’re probably not going to figure them all out, anyway. Look forward. See the goal God has set before you...and press on to that. There is a greater reward than figuring out...where that little scratch came from.”
God’s best...
To choose or not to choose...
As leaders, we make scores of choices every day. Some of them you don’t even think about. For instance, you chose to read or watch this Monday MEMO. You could have deleted it, skipped over it, or set it aside for another time. Choices. And, as we all know, choices, particularly bad choices, have consequences.
In the book Smart Leadership Mark Miller writes about choices. He acknowledges that all choices are not equal. Some choices are smart ones, and others...well, not so smart. We have all made bad decisions in life. Some don’t matter much in the sweep of things. Others, though, can be monumental...and not in a good way.
Miller says smart leaders make smart choices. That sounds obvious. He goes on to point out that many times we don’t think much about the choices we make. And then Miller details four kinds of choices:
- Costly
- Smart
- Trivial
- Routine
The book points out that trivial choices are what Miller calls “low energy.” They require little thought, energy, or attention. And they have little impact on your leadership. They may include such choices as what to have for lunch, or what shirt or blouse you should wear tomorrow.
Also in the “low energy” category are the routine choices. They don’t require much effort to make, but they have greater consequences.
Miller says the costly choices are the ones we spend too much time on though they don’t make much difference. We overinvest in these decisions without a significant return for our time and effort.
Mark Miller zeroes in on the smart choices and the key ones that make or break a powerful and successful leader. Miller says, “...if you can keep your eye on these choices and choose wisely, you will experience multiple benefits....” He lists some of those smart choices:
- Confront Reality – to stay grounded in truth and lead from a position of strength
- Grow Capacity – to meet the demands of the moment and the challenges of the future
- Fuel Curiosity – to maintain relevance and vitality in a changing world
- Create Change – to ensure a better tomorrow
Some good information to ponder. And it got me thinking of what the Bible says about our choices.
Wise choices will watch over you.
Understanding will keep you safe.
Proverbs 2:11 NLT
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Matthew 6:33 NLT
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
Psalm 37:5 NLT
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
Those are certainly some wise choices that will impact your life...and the life of others...for all eternity.
God’s best...
A startling truth...
Some truths are easy to digest. Chocolate ice cream is good. Majestic, snow-capped mountains are beautiful. The giggle of a little child is delightful. But some truths are harder to process. Like this truth from leadership guru Fred Smith:
“Aloneness is chosen; loneliness is imposed.”
When I read that recently I had to take time and think through it. And I had to read further to see how Fred Smith arrived at that. Smith was moving into an executive role at a major shoe company when his boss and mentor Maxie Jarman confronted him.
“Fred, how far do you want to go?” “Mr. Jarman, I want to go as far as I can.” He responded, “Then learn to live with loneliness.”
The startling truth is that those who lead find they cannot relate to their staff as they might with close friends. Smith says,
“Aloneness is chosen; loneliness is imposed. It can be imposed by responsibility…for example, an executive who is highly functioning can never really be ‘one of the boys.’”
Smith goes on to relate a story of an executive who shared everything with many people on his staff. His challenges, his vision for the future for the company, and his concerns. What happened was that different ones formed different opinions and set their mind in one direction or another. Then, when the executive made a decision, there was a faction that was immediately against the decision...and that brought on unnecessary strife in the organization. Smith called it abdicating his leadership to create a comfortable environment.
Is it OK to share things with some of the staff? Smith says that for a leader, “Talking over his potential decisions is valuable if and only if he chooses the right person and assesses his motivation.”
Do you remember the story of King Rehoboam found in 1 Kings 12? Solomon’s son was faced with a decision regarding the treatment of some of the Israelites. Rehoboam sought counsel of his father’s older advisors who encouraged him to treat the Israelites kindly. But Rehoboam went to his own young advisors who said he needed to be even harsher to them. The counsel he received from these men brought strife and grief. Their advice was born out of their own personal agenda.
When all Israel realized that the king had refused to listen to them, they responded,
“Down with the dynasty of David!
We have no interest in the son of Jesse.
Back to your homes, O Israel!
Look out for your own house, O David!”
1 Kings 12:16 NLT
A wedge was driven between a people that was unnecessary.
You as a leader may need to set yourself apart from others on your team. Think of the times Jesus went off by himself to pray. He chose to be alone as he sought His Father’s direction for His purpose and plan.
Choosing aloneness.
As Fred Smith says,” The loneliness of leadership must be accepted as part of the price.” Are you willing to pay that price to lead effectively?
God’s best...
Well worn...
It’s been over a year since our house flooded from frozen water pipes that burst. That led to a moving and storage company boxing up everything in our home...and I mean everything...and carting it off for over six months. And it has now been over six months since the boxes containing almost everything we owned were returned. We quickly attacked the boxes, and soon learned that not every box was labeled properly. In many cases we could figure out what went in the kitchen and what went in our closet. But there were lots of boxes that we didn’t know if they contained treasure or trash. Good stuff or giveaway.
After we got most of the main items needed for day-to-day living, we stopped opening boxes. I think we lost our drive to do it. So, our garage has a bunch of them in it...just waiting. Well, I decided the wait is over. We have a few key items we want to find, but mostly we want to get rid of the boxes and return the garage to its main purpose...housing our cars.
I opened a box this morning before heading off to the office. “Books,” said the label. That was partly true. There were some other things in there. But there were books. A quick look and I saw that some of these books were water stained. They were in my home office bookcases where water flowed down from the attic and those busted pipes. Thankfully, they weren’t in too bad of shape.
As I lifted one book, I saw a rather small black leather one in that box. I recognized it quickly as a Bible. And not just any Bible. There was writing on the inside cover and the date 12-25-63. A Christmas gift from my mom when I was 18 years old.
Dear Ronnie,
It gives me great satisfaction to give you this Bible, for your faithful study of God’s Word has always pleased me....
She went on to say a few other things, then signed it...
Love, Mother
As I continue looking through this box later today, I may find trash. But this...this definitely is a treasure. I’m glad to say it is worn around the edges. I did put it to use. I’m not one who marks up my Bibles, but as I thumbed through this Bible, I did find some passages underlined. In the account of Jesus on the cross, the words “forgive them” are underscored. It must have impacted me that while my Savior hung in agony on the cross, He still was forgiving those around him, including a thief who was hanging next to him. Another underline is where the thief cried, “Lord, remember me.” And Jesus did.
Let me see if there is some spiritual insight to learn from this bit of nostalgia.
- There can be a treasure among the mundane, even among the trash. That might even apply to life... and to people the Lord brings into our path.
- God’s Word should not just adorn your bookshelf or desktop. It should be read, studied, probed for wisdom from above. James reminds us that wisdom is available to all who seek it.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
James 1:5 NLT
- And thinking of Jesus at Calvary...even on your worst day, you can bless others. And you can forgive. Who knows, it might make an eternal difference in their life.
Now, I will tell you this particular Bible won’t get a lot more use. My 76-year-old eyes and this tiny print don’t work too well together. But it will serve as a reminder to me. A reminder of a loving family who knew what I needed most in my young life...God’s Truth. And a reminder that God’s Truth still works today. Remember the verse...
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
Or as Eugene Peterson expressed it in The Message:
Point your kids in the right direction—
when they’re old they won’t be lost.
I think I’ll just underline that verse here in this Bible.
God’s best...
The plus side of the power...
In our leadership roles it is so easy to accentuate the negative. The same is true for parenting. We often hear that the best thing a mom or dad can do to motivate their child is to catch them doing something right and praise them for it. Our tendency is to point out the wrong things...the negative...and then punish them for it. Yes, there are times that must be done. But it isn’t the best overall way to motivate a child or an employee to greatness.
Leadership expert Steve Gutzler wrote about this recently. He said:
“I've learned there is a very real human tendency to focus on the negative. Negativity can quickly become pervasive and contagious. It can also stifle performance. Your team needs optimism during tough times.”
That is easier said than done for most leaders. Many are under pressure to make sure the ministry, business, or organization stays on track and is accomplishing all that is expected...and then some. It’s hard to lift your head up and look for something good, especially when the work is demanding or the deadlines loom.
In his article, Gutzler cited a study by the University of North Carolina Psychology Department. The focus of its study was what happens when people experience positive emotions. The results are pretty amazing.
- Their minds stretch to opportunities.
- They become open to new ways of thinking.
- They become more creative and innovative.
- They experience health benefits of lower stress and increased energy.
- They develop better coping mechanisms.
- They have more engaging relationships.
That sounds exactly like the kind of person you would like on your team, doesn’t it? You can develop people who reflect these traits if you will work at being more positive in your leadership style.
No... I’m not talking about syrupy sweet comments that are not sincere. But if you begin to look for good things to praise, you will begin to find them. In fact, you will be surprised at how many great things are going on around you with your staff and volunteers.
I remember the first silver colored car I bought. I though it was both cool and unique. Until I got out on the road and began to see other silver cars...many of them. When we look for something, we often find it.
Guess what else will happen? The leader who begins to point out the positive and diminish the negative in their leadership will themselves be changed. You can’t live on the negative side of life and not be affected. And you are not the same when you decide to be more positive in your approach to leadership.
Maybe that’s why the Apostle Paul encouraged the Philippian believers to accentuate the positive in their lives:
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you have learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4: 8-9 NLT
I am positive...this will make a difference in your ministry, your organization, and your home. And it will make a difference in you.
God’s best...
Who is influencing you?
Influencers. Today’s world is filled with them. The easy way people can link through the internet’s various platforms means some influencers are able to rake in the cash. One such person is expecting to bring in about $1.5 million this year with her online videos of various products. That’s a lot of influence! Or at least...a lot of money.
I began thinking about this as I watched the saga of the famous slap at the American film awards, the Oscars. That incident has consumed viewers and commanded much media attention for over a week. My question...why? Why do we care about what these performers do or say? Is there no other news or other events that could draw our attention these days? Does being famous make them wise?
My guess is that, by and large, we have allowed celebrities to be influencers in our lives. We think what they say and do somehow matters. And it isn’t just celebrities. We often let those who write books or hold seminars influence us, whether their information is well founded or not.
I’m all for gaining knowledge in areas of business, ministry, or relationships. But we need to be careful who is influencing us in these important areas. Online or actual bookstores are filled with books on leadership. Yet do they have a biblical base? Some do. Others are just man’s best thinking. Solomon had a word about that:
For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
Proverbs 2:6 NLT
Henry and Richard Blackaby address this critical area in their devotional Experiencing God Day by Day:
“The world is full of ‘experts.’ There are people everywhere who want to convince you of the wisdom of their opinion. Yet God says that it is not the one who declares his viewpoint the most loudly or vociferously who is the wisest, but the one who is vindicated over time.”
The Bible has stood the test of time and continues to provide God’s wisdom for today’s needs. That same daily devotional reminds us of the importance of using God’s Word as our primary guide:
“It is critical that you measure everything you hear against the Scriptures. Trends in psychology and philosophy come and go, but God’s Word is timeless.”
Do you want your life to be guided by good ideas...or God’s truth? Be careful what or who you let influence you. Many will try. Weigh it all against the wisdom the Lord has for us in His Word.
God’s best...
How do you land the plane?
I knew a man who was the head of a major Christian organization. He was a visionary. He had so many ideas...quality ideas...that everyone was sure the agency was going to soar. And it did...in the idea realm. This leader was not at the helm of the ministry organization too long. After he left some said of him, “He had 30,000-foot ideas, but he just couldn’t land the plane. He couldn’t go from vision or dream to reality.”
Do you know anyone like that? Always coming up with great ideas, but unable to bring them about? In many ways, that person is more of a dreamer than a leader.
I think we all may have been in a situation like that. In our heart we have a strong desire, a dream, a vision of what could be. Sometimes that’s where it stays. A dream. A desire. But no effective plan to make that idea a reality.
Dr. Robert Jeffress in a Pathway to Victory devotional wrote, “There’s a difference in knowing your dreams and actually fulfilling your dreams.” And he used the life and leadership of Nehemiah as an example. His vision was to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem.
Jeffress listed five key steps that any leader can use to land that 30,000-foot idea:
- Investigation - Nehemiah walked around the wall at night to get a sense of what the job would be like, what was needed to finish the job, and what were the major obstacles.
- Motivation – When Nehemiah announced this goal, his vision, he had to do it in a way that inspired the people of Jerusalem.
- Determination – This leader was prepared to defend his dream against the opposition. Criticism will almost always come. A leader must be ready for it, and be able to keep those he is leading moving forward toward the goal.
- Organization – There was an urgency to the work that Nehemiah was leading the people to do. It was a long wall. And he couldn’t do it by himself. So, he organized it in such a way that the people worked on the section of the wall nearest their home. It was both organization and motivation.
- Implementation – Finally, you just have to start. It is harder to get something started than it is to keep it moving. Try pushing your car when it won’t start. You’ll understand that principle. In the famous Nike shoes phrase... “Just do it!”
You can see these principles laid out in the first three chapters of the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. It is worth a reading to learn these leadership principles.
God has called us to good works. As leaders...whether it is a ministry, a corporation, or your family, we need to lead in a way that inspires others to do the work alongside us and accomplish God’s vision He has given us.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:10 NLT
What dream...what good works has the Lord given you? If it comes from God, it is part of His great plan. And we can be confident that accomplishing it will bless and draw many to Christ.
Let’s dream those 30,000-foot dreams. But let’s be sure we have the plan to land the plane.
God’s best...
Everything old...
The saying is “Everything old is new again.” It relates to a lot of things in life. I have ties hanging in my closet that are back in style. They went from thin to wide and back to thin again. At least for today. It may all change again tomorrow.
And even that thought isn’t new. Solomon expressed it in biblical writings.
History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before.
Nothing under the sun is truly new.
Ecclesiastes 1:9 NLT
I saw that truth again when began to plow through some old media texts from my college days. Though the technology has dramatically changed since my early days of radio and television, many of the basic truths still hold up.
One of the classic texts in my early media days was Robert Hilliard’s Writing for Television and Radio. Originally published in 1962, it still holds some great concepts that are good to remember.
In the opening of the text, Hilliard writes:
“The television and radio writer aims at an audience that at one and the same time is very small and very large, that has much in common and almost nothing in common, that is a tightly knit group and a disunified mass.”
Though thousands...or even millions...may be tuned in, people still listen or watch as an individual. This is especially true in radio. Yes, I grew up in a day when the family gathered around the radio to sit and listen to programming as a group. Those were pre-television days. Today, the radio audience is like an audience of one, listening on air pods while jogging, in the car on their commute, or working in the home or office...but listening as one person. The best communicators understand this and use it to their advantage.
Hilliard also points out that psychologist inform us, “...the smaller the group and the greater the physical distance between individual members of the audience, the better chance there is to appeal to the intellect.” That may be why talk radio has had such a profound effect in our culture today.
At the same time, Hilliard understands that since the audience can remove itself from the process quickly by merely punching a button or changing the channel, emotional empathy must be established. This helps hold the audience and allows the central theme or message to be delivered.
Emotional empathy. Touching hearts. Telling powerful stories. Drawing the individual audience in. As Jesus told stories, He often painted word pictures about things that were important to His audience.
Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds....
For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard....
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
Farmers, landowners, builders... That directly related to the culture of the day and painted word pictures for the audience to see.
As you write, consider that one person who is listening or watching. Think of drawing them in personally, emotionally, through strong, creative writing. You will touch hearts and be better able to share God’s Truth to that one soul that the Lord wants to reach.
God’s best...