Say YES to NO!
I remember those years. Good things were happening in ministry. Others were excited about what they saw. And requests would come in to do this, speak there, meet with these folks, lead this workshop, serve on this committee...and on and on. Most of the time...I said YES. It was as if the word “no” wasn’t in my vocabulary.
To be honest, I haven’t progressed too far down the road, but I have learned there is nothing wrong with saying no to something that is not a priority. It isn’t easy. And it is even harder to do without guilt when it is a good friend or colleague who is asking.
It’s a good thing for us to talk about at the start of this new year.
A while back, my friend Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth helped me better understand the whole concept of saying no in a devotional from her book, The Quiet Place. Your own to-do list is usually augmented by the to-do list others have for you...especially if you are in leadership.
“There will seldom be enough time in a twenty-four-hour day for you to do everything that is on your to-do list. For sure, there will never be enough time for everything that is on everyone else’s list for your life! You can’t spend time with every person who wants to talk, read all the books you’d like, and tackle every project you’re interested in....”
So, what is the secret? How do you prioritize things that all seem like a priority? The answer is in the life of Jesus. He didn’t do everything others wanted Him to do. He didn’t heal everyone, feed everyone, calm every storm, or raise every dead person to life. So... what was His guiding principle? Jesus did what His Father had for Him to do. He had God’s to-do list...His priority. In Jesus’ priestly prayer to His Heavenly Father found in John 17, the Lord said:
I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.
John 17:4 NLT
Did you see that? Jesus said He did what His Father gave Him to do. Great insight for us today.
There will be many demands on you, your time, your talent, your knowledge, and your energy. Which among them is God’s will for you? Which ones are obviously part of the Lord’s plan for you? More importantly, which ones...though good things to do...are NOT in His will for you? Setting the parameters and priorities according to the Lord’s plan will make saying “no” a bit easier. As Nancy Wolgemuth says, “All you have to do is the work God assigns to you. And believe it or not, there is always time (and grace) to do everything that is on His to-do list for you.”
Hmmm...I think I need to work on that in my own life these days. How about you?
God’s best...and have a happy and meaningful New Year!
Do our words matter?
I like oxymorons. You know, those words that by themselves mean something opposite, but when put together seem to take on new meaning. I know some of these may only work in English, but have you ever ordered “jumbo shrimp?” The word shrimp usually indicates something tiny. So, can you really have jumbo shrimp?
Here are some others you may want to think about. They have become so common in our daily speech that we don’t think of how incongruous they are.
- Awfully good.
- Bittersweet.
- Civil war.
- Definite possibility.
- Exact estimate.
Here are a few more:
- Old news
- Original copy
- Plastic silverware
- Virtual reality
- Working vacation
Those are fun to think about. But here is an oxymoron you probably don’t hear.
Easy sacrifice
The Apostle Paul urged his brothers and sisters in Christ, “...to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. (Romans 12:1 NASB)
Paul certainly knew what sacrifice was all about. He had been through much in his Christian life. Beatings. Imprisonment. Shipwrecked. Hauled before courts and magistrates because of his faith. Paul would have never put “easy” and “sacrifice” together.
The Lead Like Jesus online devotional recently spoke of sacrifice.
Sacrifice involves doing what is right and best, what honors God, regardless of the cost. Sacrifice says that God and others are more important than me. Sacrifice has a cost, but the goal and benefits are worth it. Jesus sacrificed Himself for the whole world.
I know, it’s not too much fun to think of the kind of sacrifice Paul wrote about. Many Christians today are dealing with sacrifice. In countries like Iran, a high price is often paid for following Jesus. It is getting increasingly difficult in many places in our world for those who are dedicated believers. A few in the United States have had to make great sacrifices to hold to their biblical beliefs.
For most of us, sacrifice for our faith simply means being a bit uncomfortable. It may be an irritation or an inconvenience. That may change.
The devotional I read ended with two probing questions:
- Who is He calling you to sacrifice yourself for?
- What sacrifice is He calling you to make?
Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice...His death on the cross...that we might have hope for eternity with God. Jesus’ sacrifice bridged the gap between us sinful beings and a Holy God. And Jesus did it willingly.
Easy sacrifice? Never. Essential for our faith? A resounding “YES.”
God’s best...
What are you willing to do?
You serve the Lord faithfully. You have a measure of success. Yet there is pressure and pushback...and you don’t know what to do. As one of God’s leaders, you may have felt all this and more. You may even begin to question God. After all, you are doing His will. Shouldn’t the Lord watch out for His own, especially His faithful servants?
You are in good company. Elijah went through these feelings and sought answers from the Lord. In his book, Living Out of the Overflow, Dr. Richard Blackaby details what happened to Elijah after his victorious encounter on Mount Carmel when he stood up to the hundreds of prophets of Baal. After learning that Jezebel was out to kill him, he hid for a while. Then he took off to Mount Horeb to seek answers from God. He was feeling all alone.
Though we don’t know for sure, Elijah may have gone to the very cave where Moses had asked to see God in all his glory. Elijah needed to be reassured. He wanted a fresh encounter with God. But he also wanted to complain about his situation. Remember? He may have wondered why no one stood with him. Or why God didn’t take care of evil Queen Jezebel. Or why Elijah’s life was so difficult even after his many years of faithful service.
God asked him one probing question. “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:9 NLT) I think God was saying, “Why are you on this mountain and hiding in a cave? Why aren’t you out serving Me? Why are you complaining? Have you lost your perspective on My call on your life? Have you lost your perspective about your God?”
Indeed, Elijah was looking at his circumstances and the reactions of others rather than seeing God’s continued presence and provision.
Can I make a few applications for us as we serve the Lord?
- Don’t let the struggles you may face in ministry or in life get you off track from God’s call to service.
- Don’t isolate yourself when struggles come. Elijah traveled some 200 miles away from where God had him serving. That is probably why God asked him, “What are you doing here?”
- Don’t let other people’s opinions move you from God’s assignment and His vision for you.
- Don’t let your struggles blind you to the many who are faithfully serving the Lord. Elijah thought he was the only prophet left. God had 150 other faithful prophets.
If you found yourself in Elijah’s sandals and God were to ask you, “Why are you here?”, what would you say? Some might say, “I’m bitter. I’m being persecuted. A lot of important people don’t like what I am doing. And I feel that You, God, have abandoned me.”
Don’t let circumstances cause you to become disoriented to God and His call on you and your ministry. God is still God. He is still all-powerful. He still has that important assignment for you. And He is with you...right now. Are you willing to do what it takes to be the Lord’s faithful servant despite the circumstances?
God’s best...
I have a question...
My friend Bob Tiede loves questions. He’s built a whole leadership ministry around questions. And he actively looks for others who put questions to good use. I’m still trying to learn from Bob and others how to effectively use questions in leadership. I’m more prone to tell others what to do than lead them by asking them key questions.
Recently Bob highlighted questions by Courtney Sargent, a graphics and web designer and successful entrepreneur. He recently put out a whole list of questions that can change your leadership, your ministry, and your life. Here are a few to consider and ponder:
- What is it that is keeping you from being great?
- What is your purpose and are you fulfilling it?
- What are your values?
- If you knew you would be successful, what would you do?
- What is your “why?”
- Who did you make better today?
- What would you want people to remember about you?
Those are great questions to spend time with, maybe even write out answers for. And not short essay answers, but long paragraphs, maybe pages. And they are great questions to ask some of the key people on your staff. You may be amazed at the answers, and you may learn things about your team that you did not understand before.
One set of Courtney’s questions caught my special attention:
- What did I learn today?
- Who did I help?
- What made me laugh?
Asked at the end of a day, those questions can help us summarize our day. We all should be learning, leading, and laughing. God reminds us in His Word that “the joy of the Lord is our strength.” And Paul instructed us to “rejoice in the Lord always....” Jesus often used phrases and told parables that should bring a smile to our face, if not outright laughter. The Lord used zingers about people who strain out gnats and swallow camels. He said it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God. Imagine those scenes and try not to smile.
Maybe another question might be, “Who did you make laugh today?”
God’s best...
Funny sayings...eternal truth
Funny sayings are, well, funny. In college my roommate put the following on our dorm door:
Be sincere, whether you mean it or not.
Someone once moaned, “Life is a bowl of soup...and I’m a fork.”
Maybe you’ve heard a person say, “I’m very humble...and proud of it!” Along those lines, I know a church media team that was passing out awards at an annual dinner. They called up one person and presented them with a pin for humility. I asked them, “Do you actually wear the pin? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the award?”
All kidding aside, humility is a key trait for a Christian and for an effective leader. Paul’s letter to the Philippians gave strong instructions outlining what was expected of them as Christ followers:
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3 NLT
An article from the Baptist Mission Association focused on humility as a key component of any effective leader. Here are some of their points:
- A humble leader is focused on God - A humble leader remains close to the Lord in order to have a clearer perspective of who God is and who you are not.
- A humble leader is teachable and ready to be molded by God - You are the clay in the potter’s hands and that means you are moldable, pliable, and totally surrendered to His will and His ways. You are not irreplaceable because none of us are.
- A humble leader is friendly - You focus on serving others and you always desire to make their day better with a smile and being more concerned about their well-being than you are your own.
- A humble leader is appreciative - You know that you could never make it alone and it is your practice to say “thank you” often and to many.
- A humble leader is empowering - Humility means that we do not have to be in control and every idea does not have to be ours.
- A humble leader is realistic - Humility causes you to realize how much you desperately need the Lord and how you also desperately need others to make this faith journey with you.
- A humble leader is forgiving - You realize that everyone makes mistakes, including you, and grace is practiced daily.
Pride is one of the most insidious sins that Satan uses against Christians. It sneaks into our minds easily and must be combatted with true humility. Solomon understood this. That’s why he spelled out what happens to the person who is filled with pride versus the one who is humble before the Lord:
Pride leads to disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2 NLT
Again, James speaks about humility and what it shows others:
If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.
James 3:13 NLT
Jesus said it best as he taught His disciples:
“Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.”
Mark 9:35 NLT
What can you do today to show the true humility that the Lord is seeking in His servant-leaders?
God’s best...
Are you listening?
Have you ever met someone who told you their name...and you promptly forgot it? That has happened too many times to me. Guess what? I probably wasn’t really listening. Steven Covey once wrote, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Ouch! That hits home.
If I am trying to come up with my next comment or response, I’m not listening carefully to the person in front of me. G. K. Chesterton pointed out the problem when he said, “There's a lot of difference between listening and hearing.”
Most great leaders are good listeners. They are genuinely interested in the person they are talking to, and they give them full attention. For most of us, that is a trait that must be cultivated.
Steve Gutzler has become a friend of our MEDIAlliance ministry, and he specializes in helping leaders become more effective as they serve others. Steve recently pointed out the value of listening in our role as leaders. He says:
- It shows ultimate respect.
- It builds trust.
- It grows your relationships.
- It increases your knowledge.
- It generates the best solutions.
- It fosters ironclad loyalty.
It improves your reputation.
OK...those are the benefits. Now, how do we become better listeners? Here are some of Gutzler’s suggestions:
- Look intently at the individual. Give the other person your undivided attention.
- Do not interrupt. Give people time to express themselves.
- Identify your emotions. Don’t just react. Reign in your emotions and just listen.
- Suspend judgment. Wait to hear the whole story before responding. If you interrupt you may miss the most important thing they intended to say.
- Ask questions for clarity. People will see you care and will be even more open.
James writes about this in his New Testament letter:
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19
I like the way the Amplified version expands on this instruction:
Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; …
Steve Gutzler recommends you set up appointments with a team member or two this week. Work at giving them undivided attention and listen at least two-thirds of the time. Then...see how they respond. You may be surprised by the impact.
God’s best...
The Voice...
The premise for my memoir book I recently published, The Voice Behind You, came from so many people commenting about my voice. While I often mention that it is a gift from God, I know in my heart that I had to work at making it more effective in communicating to listeners. I spent much of my first radio station announcing experience trying to eliminate my natural Texas twang.
A textbook on the voice in broadcasting talks of the value of using your voice well. In a poll of news directors and production leaders, there was an emphasis on the importance of a well-trained voice.
- If you are going to make your living with your voice, you should learn to use your voice effectively. It is as basic as learning how to type....
- Even the most brilliantly written and produced news story can be ruined by a poor delivery or an untrained voice.
- The effect of a broadcaster's voice is immediate and overpowering. No amount of excellent writing or good on-air presence can compensate for a poor voice.
If you lead or are part of a broadcast ministry, do you evaluate the voices on the air or on the podcast? Do you have the broadcasters check themselves? I often mention that for my 15 years in Christian radio I would record my time on the air each morning. And almost every day I would listen to at least a part of my presentation to see how I could improve it.
Broadcast consultant Valerie Geller, who has helped our MEDIAlliance partners on several occasions, says that our voices need to be able to express emotion, tell stories, and draw in the listener. “Nothing beats the authenticity of the human voice. It is the most powerful communication tool.”
What are some of the tips that will help announcers and speakers better utilize the voice God has given them? Here are some thoughts from voice coach Ann Utterback:
“The best delivery sounds like a conversation with a good friend. I call it “enlarged conversation” because you should be a bit more careful with your articulation, but the general feeling should be one of conversation.”
Utterback also emphasizes the importance of breath control. Standing, breathing deeply using the diaphragm, and speaking above your lowest voice pitch are all things that can help improve the quality of the voice and the overall communication process. Utterback says:
“Breathing is the energy for speech. Not having good breath support is like driving a car with watered-down gasoline. It won’t take you very far.”
Jesus spoke on a hillside to thousands. He taught from a boat to the multitudes on shore. Do you think He spoke clearly and distinctly? Do you think He used the best vocal production needed for His message? Yes, because what He had to say was important. What you say on radio, television, or on your podcast is also important, and often it is critical for the listener to understand the truth of your words and your message. Take time and be sure you and those who are presenters in your ministry are using their best voice to communicate God’s greatest news for our world today.
God’s best...
What is your dream worth?
Do you have a life dream? Is there some compelling goal before you that drives you forward? Is that dream the thing you invest your time, energy, and heart in?
What if it isn’t the right dream?
In his book The Inspired Leader my friend Richard Blackaby raises that question. He talks of the goal of Bill Gates, who declared in the 11th grade that by the age of 30 he wanted to be a millionaire. However, by the time he was 31 years old, Gates was worth a billion dollars! His dream wasn’t big enough.
Others have set goals they never attained. Still others achieved their goals, only to realize they paid too high a price to reach their dream. Some lost family. Some lost their very souls.
A man named Saul had a big goal. Blackaby says, “As a young man, Paul had a compelling vision for his life. He aspired to be a prominent national leader who dominated his day’s religious scene.” He pursued that goal with great fervor. Yet one day, on a quest to achieve his personal goal, Saul/Paul had an encounter with the risen Christ. And, as Blackaby puts it, “His life dream was upgraded!”
If we dreamed our dreams and set our personal goals before we began our spiritual journey with the Lord, there is a good chance our ego has influenced those goals and dreams. Solomon wisely penned this:
For in many dreams and in many words there is futility. Rather, fear God.
Ecclesiastes 5:7 NASB
Richard Blackaby asks these probing questions:
- What is driving your life today? To earn a living? To become rich? To pay off debt? Or is it to fulfill God’s purpose in your life?
- Do you know what God’s will is for you? Would you recognize God’s voice if He was communicating it to you?
Moses wrote these strong words of instruction that can guide us today:
Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.
Deuteronomy 13:4 NLT
Our dreams and goals in Christian ministry should start and end with Jesus.
God’s best...
I mean no disrespect...
Have you ever found yourself bogged down in Scripture? You set a goal to read through the Bible in a year...and you come across long chapters that are just tedious to plow through. My advice...read it anyway.
I mean no disrespect, but a while back I was doing my “through the Bible in a year” reading. It was in Ezekiel. The Israelites were in captivity. God was showing the prophet in a vision the details of the temple to come. Length of the walls. Thickness of the walls. Width of the gate openings. Yawn. Height of the walls. I’m sorry, it felt like I was slogging through the Scripture. But I kept reading. And I got to a curious passage.
But when the people come in through the north gateway to worship the Lord during the religious festivals, they must leave by the south gateway. And those who entered through the south gateway must leave by the north gateway. They must never leave by the same gateway they came in, but must always use the opposite gateway.
Ezekiel 46:9 NLT
What was that all about?
Let me take a pause and tell you a brief story from my childhood. My family would take short vacations, sometimes several states away. My Dad would drive...and drive...and drive, rarely stopping for much of anything. However, my dad liked a certain soft drink. Root beer. At times he would tell us three kids in the back seat, “If you see a root beer stand, we’ll stop.” Now, there weren’t many root beer stands back then. Not like McDonald’s today. But it was amazing how quickly we could find a root beer stand. Why? Because we were intently looking for it.
The lesson I learned at that early age was that it was easier to find something when you were focused on finding it.
Fast-forward to my Bible reading. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me understand the passages I read. And there are times (slogging times) I really need His help. So, what about this “go in one way and out the other way” passage? What was the Lord saying?
My interpretation is this: When we enter into the Lord’s presence, in worship, in Bible study, in our prayer life, we should never leave the same way. Never. We should never read God’s Holy Word and then toss it down and go on. Never. We should never show up for church, sing, listen to a sermon, then head out the door the same way we came in.
My friend Dr. Henry Blackaby in his daily devotional Experiencing God Day by Day puts it this way:
“Have you lost your sense of awe that the Creator still chooses to speak to you, His creation? Do you approach the reading of your Bible with a holy expectation, listening for the life-changing words that God has for you that day?
“When God speaks, nothing remains the same.”
When people in Bible days encountered God, their life was never the same. They usually were driven to the ground by what today’s songwriter calls “awe-struck wonder.”
I am so amazed and grateful that God...the great God of the universe... still has a personal word for me. A message for me. A plan for me.
Awe-struck wonder. What about you?
God’s best...
Interesting words...
Our English language is interesting and sometimes quirky. We talk about being overwhelmed, even underwhelmed. But you never hear of anyone just being whelmed. I’ve sometimes noted we have booklets, which are smaller books. And though we have something called “pamphlets,” we don’t...to my knowledge...have any full-sized pamphs! A crazy language.
I got to thinking about that when I came across the word “squander.” First, it just sounds funny. Some suggest it may be a blend of the words “scatter” and “wander.” Most understand it to mean wasting something of value. We may think of the Prodigal Son who squandered his inheritance. Eugene Peterson used the word in his version of 2 Corinthians 6:1, as Paul instructed the Corinthian believers:
Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don’t squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us.
I came across the word “squander” in the book by Henry and Richard Blackaby, Spiritual Leadership. In a chapter on the leader’s schedule, they write:
“Good leaders are keenly aware of how valuable their time is. Even the most gifted leaders will struggle if they squander their time.”
In his book, The Effective Executive, leadership expert Peter Drucker says, “Effective executives...do not start with their tasks. They start with their time.”
John Maxwell has some sobering news on the topic.
“Time cannot be managed. It cannot be controlled in any way. Everyone gets the same number of hours and minutes every day.... Twenty-four hours is the best any of us is going to get. You can’t manage your time. So, what can you do?
Manage yourself! Nothing separates successful people from unsuccessful people more than how they use their time.”
Steve Gutzler, who was with us at our MEDIAlliance Summit, tells leaders to be wise in how you use your time.
“...the single most important investment of your time is “thinking time.” In order to make your life, leadership, and professional pursuits thrive and succeed, you have to “draw out” your best thoughts. King Solomon said, ‘The purpose of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.’ It’s important to take time to “draw out” your purpose, your desires, and your motives.”
Critical to managing our time well is understanding God’s specific will for us as a leader. Blackaby says, “It is important for leaders to realize they are surrounded by other people’s agendas.” You will not be productive in the areas that God has for you if you are trying to fulfill someone else’s agenda.
In Psalm 90, Moses prays, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” And Eugene Peterson translated Paul’s words to the Ephesians this way:
Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness...watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.
Ephesians 5:15-17 MSG
Yes, “squander” is a funny-sounding word. But it carries a strong message. When it comes to leadership in the areas where God has called us...don’t squander a single minute. Use time wisely.
God’s best...