Leaders have to deal with conflict in their organizations. It is inevitable. Jesus said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows….” (Matthew 16:33 NLT) James reminds believers, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” (James 1:2 NLT)

In the middle of conflict, it doesn’t feel like joy. What is your attitude when those troubles come in your ministry or organization? Joy is probably not the first thing on your mind. Most people think their only options are fight or flight and confront the trial head-on. Of course, when that happens, there will be inevitable winners and losers. That doesn’t make for a productive organization or ministry. What if there were another way?

What if you could transform that conflict into something productive for everyone? David Ashcraft of the Global Leadership Network suggests that can happen if we look at conflict differently.

“Conflict isn’t bad; it’s necessary. It’s usually a reaction to something that needs to be fixed, something that is probably holding your team back from moving toward your mission…. we as leaders must put aside both our desire for ease and our desire to be right — and instead choose to lean into conflict.”

Leadership expert John Maxwell has gone so far as to develop a Ten Commandments of Handling Conflict. Here are some of the highlights:

  • Love people more than opinions.
  • Learn to be flexible.
  • Provide an escape hatch for the other person in the conflict.
  • Don’t become defensive.
  • Welcome the conflict.

That last one is hard. I sure don’t wake up in the morning hoping for a conflict. Usually, it is just the opposite. So, how do we welcome conflict? Maxwell expands on that thought:

“In spite of our best efforts, we will all have conflict with other people, because they’re not just like us. They have different personalities, beliefs, and desires, so there will be disagreements and misunderstandings. Rather than running from conflict, or reacting with horror when it comes up, focus on resolving it together and making it a learning experience. It’s been said that conflict can give you either ulcers or understanding.”

Often, we as leaders must check our attitude. Are we more interested in winning or moving forward as an organization? Are we more focused on our leadership position or on the overall good of the ministry?

Kenneth Cloke, a professional mediator, has written, “Every conflict we face in life is rich with positive and negative potential…. The choice is not up to our opponents, but to us, and our willingness to face and work through them.”

Conflicts will certainly arise. Rather than fight or flight, we should work to transform the conflict into something that honors the Lord and moves us closer to His ministry purpose.

God’s best,