Beginning in junior high and into high school, I was part of a very active Boy Scout troop. We camped once a month, and we had weekly meetings each Monday night. While I didn’t particularly enjoy it at the time, I was grateful for the friendships I made, and for the experiences of camping in a variety of settings, from the mountains of New Mexico to the arid Caprock region of Texas.

Over time as a result of Scouts, I realized I had a desire to lead. I began first at the patrol level and eventually worked up the ranks to the top position of Senior Patrol Leader. In that role, I helped coordinate and provided leadership to the troop alongside our Scoutmaster.

During one weekend campout towards the end of my time leading our troop, we experienced extreme rain and wind, and some of our tents collapsed and were flooded. Some campers were frustrated and upset. Once the storm died down, the Scoutmaster asked me if we should pack up and go home or stick it out despite the setbacks. I made the decision for our troop to return home a day early.

It wasn’t until a few months later at the end of my time as Senior Patrol Leader that Mr. Arnold met with me to discuss my performance as a leader. I still remember his words. He said, “You could have been one of the great ones, but when things got tough, you decided to quit.” Then he told me, “In all my years of leading this troop, this was the first time we ever left a campout early.”

It was hard to hear this feedback from someone I respected, but those difficult words brought change to my heart and helped me to become a person who doesn’t give up when faced with challenges.

As much as each of us may resist coaching, if we want to grow in our personal leadership, it’s essential that we have people who both encourage us and also speak into our blind spots.

Pastor, author, and speaker Craig Groeschel shared the following in his monthly leadership podcast:

“Everyone is blind to so much about ourselves. We don’t know what we don’t know.”

Author and leadership expert Jeff Hancher says this:

“We’re all a product of feedback. Every one of us, either the feedback that we’ve gotten, or the lack of feedback that we needed and didn’t get.”

Wow, that’s powerful.

Groeschel also shared three helpful tips when receiving guidance from others:

  1. “Learn to crave feedback.” Over time, we can learn to view correction as a gift.
  2. “Separate the do from the who.” While we need to understand that our performance needs to improve, we do best when we don’t take the advice personally.
  3. “The more you want to push back, the better the indicator that you need to learn from it.” Defensiveness is an indication that our pride is keeping us from learning important lessons.

As difficult as it is to receive feedback, the Bible teaches us to open our arms to this instruction:

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,

but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:6 NIV

So, who do you have in your life who is willing to speak difficult words to you? And more importantly, how will you respond the next time your pride is wounded by some unexpected correction?

Blessings,